


Hiding Away The Pain

by themasqueraded



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Drug Use, Drunk Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-01
Updated: 2013-07-09
Packaged: 2017-12-10 02:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/780890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themasqueraded/pseuds/themasqueraded
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis' hurt. Harry's hurt. They will find a way to hide the pain. Who will do it better?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

"So... I was wondering...." The interviewer said looking suddenly a little nervous. "What do you guys think of this Larry Stylinson thing?" She blurted out before we could say anything. I did my best not to look at Louis, who was sitting at the other side of the couch. He didn't look at me either. My heart started beating faster. I was not going to answer this question.  
There was an awkward silence. None of us was willing to answer this. By the way the interviewer looked at us, she knew she had made things awkward, and she regretted it. I heard Louis taking a deep breath.  
"Um, we've heard that there are a lot of fan fictions... Where my girlfriend doesn't exist and Harry and I are... Together as a... couple" Louis said still not looking at me. I turned my head to look at him; he closed his eyes for a second, looked down at his hands and said really low and hesitatingly. "It's not true, of course" He finished forcing a slight smile. Then, the girl turned her head to me. I couldn't fake as smile as Louis did, so I avoided her eyes and nodded. Then she turned her head back to the camera and smiled.  
"Okay, we'll be right back after the commercials. This is 'Pop Teen News', keep watching!" She said and the guy with the camera made a sign that he was not filming anymore. As soon as she said that we could take a break, I stood up and walked away. I tried to hold the tears back, but I couldn't, so they came. There was no need to hide them; nobody was going to see them anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry couldn't seem to stop crying, even though one of the guys from staff had already told him that in three minutes they were back on TV, he just couldn't hold the tears back. It's not true, of course. Those words had haunted him for the last five minutes. The way Louis could manage to smile was what hurt Harry the most. After everything that had happened, after every moment, every laugh, every.... He shook his head avoiding any thought about him and Louis.  
"Call Harry! We're about to start!" Harry heard the girl whose name he couldn't remember calling for him. He wiped the remaining tears away and fake smiled to go back and keep pretending. It didn't surprise him that Louis hadn't come to look for him. After all, Louis wanted to believe what he said was true. He wanted to forget everything that happened between them. And Harry couldn't blame him. If he had a perfect life as Louis had, he would do the same thing. But he didn't, his life was nothing close to perfect. And he was used to it.  
"Hey. Sorry, I was using the washroom" Harry excused himself and sat on the sofa they had been sitting before, next to Liam and in the opposite side of Louis. Louis. Thinking of his name hurt. Thinking of his face hurt. Everything hurt.  
"Hi. We're back on our exclusive interview with the worldwide famous boy band, One Direction!" She said and the crowd behind her cheered. Harry did his best to smile and so did the other boys.  
"So, the next question is" the woman looked at her phone for a second and then turned back to them "What do your tattoos mean? If you have" she read. Liam and Zayn looked at Niall. Harry stayed silent in his own little world. He wasn't planning on answering any of the questions, unless they were direct. Unfortunately, he was the one with the greatest amount of tattoos and every single one of them meant something special to him. After "laughing" at Niall, they turned to Zayn and Harry. "You guys should definitely answer this question" Both of them looked at each other not very gladly. They were really bad answering questions, especially when they were about their feelings. That's why whenever they asked about Louis and Harry’s relationship, Louis was the one who answered. Zayn looked at Harry in the eyes, and noticed that he was upset, so he took a deep breath and thought about an answer.  
"Well, um… My tattoos don't really have a special meaning. They're just art designs that I like" He said pointing at his skulls "And the others are just cool drawings. Nothing special about them" The interviewer wasn't very satisfied with the answer, so she turned to look at Harry, who cursed lowly under his breath, begging for her not to ask.  
"What about you, Harry?" she asked with a smile on her face. Harry took a really deep breath.  
"Um..." He thought about some tattoo that didn't relate to... Louis... Harry felt his chest tighten. "These birds over here, for example, are just a sign of freedom" He said pointing at his chest, hoping for her not to ask more about it. She nodded slowly and turned around to look at Louis. Harry didn't even bother to turn to him; he just stayed there, staring at the floor, fighting with himself not to start crying again.  
Thankfully, the rest of the questions were about the tour and the fans and all that stuff and he didn't answer any of them. Anyone noticed his absence anyway, they never did.  
"Okay, this is all for today. Thank you so much for joining us guys" The girl stood up and kissed all of the boys' cheeks. Then they stopped filming and she left the studio. One man came walking swiftly towards them and told them to go to the van. They were finally going back to the hotel.  
They were really quiet in the car. None of them were able to talk. Not that they were broken as Harry, but they all knew and felt something in the atmosphere. Everyone was so tense; they didn't even intend to make a joke or at least a comment.  
When they were back in the hotel, a crowd was waiting for them, but their security guard got off the car first and made them leave. Then, they all climbed out of the van, Harry being the first one. He walked as fast as he could to the elevator. But he had to wait for the others. The first one to arrive after Harry was Louis, perfect. Louis half-smiled and looked away quickly, Harry didn't show any expression; just a blank face.  
When Harry got to his room, he sighed in relief that everything was finally over, for today. Thank God, this time they let them have separate rooms for each of them so he didn't have to deal with any of the lads asking him questions or trying to talk to him, specially Louis.  
He carefully, took his shoes off, unbuttoned his shirt and unzipped his jeans. When he was in his boxers, he climbed on the bed, putting all the covers over him and turned off the light.  
As much as he didn't want to, a few tears streamed down his face and there he was again, crying himself to sleep. 

“Goodnight mate. See you tomorrow” Louis waved at Zayn and walked to his room.  
He sighed in relief, finally alone. He was so tired he didn’t even bother taking his clothes off; he just hopped on the bed and closed his eyes. He did his best not to think of anything, or else he wouldn’t be able to sleep as much as he wanted to. He was just about to fall asleep, when his phone started ringing loud and clear. Louis growled as he stood up and walked to the drawer, where his phone was.  
“What do you want Niall?” He roared, almost speaking, almost yawning. He could hear Niall laughing from the other side of the line. He wasn’t alone; he was probably fooling around with Liam or Zayn. He could tell by a fact that Harry was in his room, probably sleeping. Or, Louis corrected himself, hopefully sleeping.  
“Oh! hey Lou! Sorry, wrong number” He said and hung up.  
“Dumbass” Louis murmured to himself and walked back to bed.  
Ugh, now it was going to take ages for him to fall asleep again. He wrapped himself with the covers and closed his eyes. He wondered what Harry was doing right now. Is he sleeping? Is he doing some random girl? Is he drunk? He doubted so; he looked devastated tonight, after the interview. Louis knew exactly why he was so upset while and after the interview, but he didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to remember any of the things he’s said later that day. All the lies he said. It was the first time he denied that he and Harry were together, ever.  
Louis groaned and shifted his position. He shouldn’t have listened to Paul, he shouldn’t have denied it. He should’ve just do what he would have done in any other interview, just talk about the “conspiracy created by the fans, where his girlfriend doesn’t exist and he and Harry are in a relationship”. It was practically a quote, he always said the same thing, which made fans suspect more about it, and so Paul told him to deny it. Simply say “It’s not true”. There was obviously a reason why he hadn’t ever denied it, it was because it meant something to him, and it meant something to Harry.  
Louis thought about going to Harry’s room and offering him an apology, but he knew Harry wouldn’t listen; he never did when he was upset. So he decided to stay in bed, wondering what the boy who a year ago would have been next to him, holding him and breathing right into his neck, was doing right now. 

The alarm clock started screaming right in Harry’s ear. He opened his eyes slowly, ignoring the deafening noise and he walked to the bathroom planning to take a really long shower, maybe, continue sleeping in the bathtub.  
Harry stripped himself and got in the shower. Just when he touched the burning hot water, someone started knocking the door several times. He growled and stuck his head through the window to shout.  
“What do you want?!?” He snapped. No reply just knocks.  
Harry cursed under his breath and got out of the bathroom. He wrapped a towel around his waist and opened the door. He was about to say something, just show his anger, when he saw Louis standing there, looking beautiful as always but more nervous than ever. They just stayed there staring at each other for a few seconds. Louis could see the pain hiding in Harry’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything. After a minute, that seemed forever, Harry blinked and held the door knob ten times harder.  
“What do you want?” He repeated.  
“Um, Paul said that breakfast is ready downstairs” He hesitated “It’s late, so…” He played nervously with his fingertips as he talked.  
“I’ll be there in a minute” Harry said coldly. Louis nodded but he didn’t move. Harry gave him a look for him to leave, but Louis didn’t catch it.  
“You can leave now” He said as the older boy examined his shirtless body. Then he looked up and met his eyes.  
“Okay” Louis replied and walked away, feeling stupid. One year ago, Harry would have asked him to come in and wait for him, but not anymore.  
Harry groaned, removed the towel and dressed himself. He thought about what had just happened. If he was going to pretend to be okay, he had to be mean to Louis, or else the pain would be too obvious. 

Louis got in the elevator and pressed the button. Just before it closed, he heard a door slam. It was Harry, since they were the last ones on the flat. Louis contemplated the option of holding the elevator and waiting for Harry, but the probabilities of Harry ignoring him were too big, so he decided not to.  
When Louis got to the dining table, everyone was already there; they all stopped eating and looked at him. Liam shot him a look as if asking for Harry, but he ignored him. He took a seat next to Niall and started drinking his already cold tasting chocolate. The room was silent; everyone seemed to be waiting for something or someone.  
Harry is taking too long. Louis thought to himself. He turned his head to see the younger boy walking towards them. As soon as their eyes met, Louis looked away.  
“Morning” He said really low. Some of the people muttered their good-mornings and the others just ignored him. He took a seat between Zayn and some guy whose name was unknown to all of the boys. Louis observed carefully as Harry took a sip of his chocolate and looked at everyone on the table, except him.  
“Okay, guys” Paul broke the silence. They all stopped eating and looked at him expectantly.  
“Today, you will have one interview and of course, and of course, the concert” He said looking directly at Harry. The five boys nodded and Liam whispered something to Zayn, something that made both of them chuckle. “Yesterday’s interview went really well, and I need this one to be similar, okay?” He shot a look at Louis and then at Harry, making it too obvious that he meant that the denial of their relationship was what had gone really well. Louis didn’t bother to look at Harry, because he knew he would either be ignored or receive a death glare, so he just slightly nodded at Paul and turned back his attention to the food.  
About twenty minutes passed and when everyone was done with their food, Wesley gestured them to leave. Paul and some girls were the first ones to stand up and leave the room, then Wesley did and that left the five, lost boys, sitting there just staring at each other.  
Louis sighed lowly. He felt just disgusted at the thought that those people who just left were the ones who made four of his best friends drift apart as they did. None of them was able to talk. It was like if they just met a week ago, they weren’t able to even say anything because it might be used against them.  
Louis barely talked to Liam, Niall and Zayn anymore. Harry didn’t talk to any of them at all. The only people he talked to were his weird friends he went to bars with and the girls he often brought home. Louis knew he wasn’t happy; neither did he want to be with those girls. But he guessed it was Harry’s way of hiding the pain. Louis’ way, instead, was something he was not proud of and he wanted more than anything to stop, but he couldn’t.  
Suddenly, Liam leaned in to Niall and whispered something to him and Niall nodded. Then he did the same thing with Zayn and they both nodded. Louis waited for a second for them to say something, but they didn’t. They just stood up and slowly left the room, leaving him and the boy he barely even recognized anymore alone. Harry didn’t seem to notice though; he just stared deeply at the corner of the table. Louis didn’t know if talking to him was the best thing to do, but it was definitely better than leaving him alone.  
He was about to say something, when Harry slowly slid his chair back and left. 

\---------

“Louis! Hurry up!” Niall yelled from the other side of the hallway as Louis took his jean jacket and closed the door of his room.  
“I’m here. No need to yell” He said annoyed and walked to the elevator.  
“Zayn and Liam are already on the van. I think we’re late” What a surprise.  
“Where’s Harry?” Louis asked. Niall thought about it for a second.  
“I dunno” He finally replied.  
“Why didn’t you tell him we’re leaving now?” Louis protested, and Niall gave him the he would ignore me even if I told him look.  
“I’m gonna go find him, we can’t leave him here” Niall nodded as Louis got out of the elevator.  
“Don’t take long, though!”  
As he walked down the hallway, heading to Harry’s room, he wondered why he was doing this. Harry was mad at him; he had left him alone in the dining room later, when he was willing to talk. And then he reminded himself the reason why, Louis hurt him. And he just wanted to let Harry know that he was sorry. Sure, they were in a fight, a big one, but he still cared and he still---  
Louis spotted Harry’s room and knocked the door. He felt the nervousness run down his spine but he ignored it and did his best to hide it. He could hear the footsteps getting closer and closer. Suddenly, someone who Louis didn’t expect opened the door. It was a naked girl, literally naked, with messy hair and a thong hanging around her neck. She didn’t seem surprised by Louis’ presence; she just looked at him expectantly.  
“You do know this is Harry’s room, right?” He asked lamely.  
“Um, yes I do. Do you want to talk to him?” She asked as she made her way to the bedroom where Harry was laying down, covered with white blankets and smoking a cigarette. Louis blinked almost ten times, before he realized he was naked and there was another girl, sleeping right next to him. Really Harry? At 3pm? He’s getting drunk, high and laid at 3pm? Wow.  
“What are you doing here?” Harry groaned. But Louis could catch the thank God you’re here look Harry gave to the air, and that he obviously didn’t want to show. Louis was about to answer, when the other girl woke up and she sat down looking at him and gesturing him to join.  
“Uh, sorry, I shouldn’t have come” Louis apologized and walked to the entrance of the room.  
“Why did you come then?” He heard Harry insist. Louis sighed and took a deep breath.  
“We’re leaving for the interview” He said avoiding his eyes. Harry thought about it for a second and then remembered. Louis waited for an answer, but he didn’t receive one. Instead, Harry slammed the door in his face.  
Louis just stood there, wondering if he should wait for him or leave. When he was about to leave, the door opened and Harry, already dressed and perfumed, got out of the room and started walking towards the elevator, ignoring Louis completely. The older boy followed and silently waited for the elevator.  
They got in and Harry pressed the button to the first floor.  
Harry knew that he was not going to say a thing until they were with the others, and maybe not even then. He also knew that Louis felt extremely uncomfortable and he felt sort of pity for him. But Louis had hurt him, and it was time to let him know.  
Suddenly, Louis’ phone started ringing.  
“Hello?”  
Harry heard a voice through the phone, but he couldn’t recognize it.  
“Oh, hi” Louis said and he sounded obviously disappointed.  
The person on the other line talked for some seconds and then Louis interrupted him or her annoyed.  
“El, I’m busy” He sighed.  
It was in that moment, that Harry realized that the person on the other line was the girl that ruined his life. That tore his heart into pieces and made him believe that he wasn’t worth anything. Harry frowned just at the thought of her high-pitched voice asking Louis to hang out with her, or telling him that she missed him. And he knew that Louis felt that way too.  
“Eleanor, I am busy. I have stuff to do today” He repeated this time a little louder. Harry wasn’t looking at the other boy; he was just listening carefully looking down at his hands. But he knew that when Louis answered, he looked at him.  
“I’ll talk to you later, okay?” He said and quickly hung up.  
Harry couldn’t hide the slight grin on his face after imagining the face of the girl he hated the most, being rejected and talked to that way. And he felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time. He felt the need to tell Louis “That was a good one” or “Well done” because they both knew that he hated Eleanor more than anything in the world and Louis was close to feeling that way.  
Louis sighed softly as he put his phone back in his pocket.  
Even though, they both wanted to talk or joke or at least smile at each other, neither of them was able to do it. After a few seconds that seemed forever, the elevator doors opened and they got out slowly and hesitatingly because they knew that this was probably the last time they were going to be alone in a long time; a week or so. And Harry missed him dearly, but he knew that if he gave up so easily, he was going to be used again, and he was going to end heartbroken.  
They walked swiftly to the car that was waiting for them and Niall stuck his head out of the window when he saw them.  
“I told you not to take long!” He snapped at Louis.  
Harry expected Louis to blame him and tell Niall that he wasn’t ready and that he didn’t even remember that they had an interview. He almost got to the point to think that he was going to tell Niall that he was sleeping with some girls and that he was high. But all Louis said was:  
“Sorry” And Harry was taken completely aback. He softened his expression and followed Louis into the car.  
While they were in the car, Harry thought only about one thing. The interview. Was Louis going to deny it once again? He had a feeling that he wasn’t going to, but still, it had hurt too much the first timeand he didn’t know if he would be able to listen to it without breaking into pieces in the middle of the interview.  
Then he thought about it more, and he realized that if he denied it, it would be true. And that was what hurt him the most. He quickly checked his pockets but he remembered that he had left in a hurry and he had left them in the hotel.  
After the Interview  
Just as Harry would have imagined, Niall offered all of the boys to go out for dinner. Liam thought it was a wonderful idea so they asked Paul if they could go to some sort-of-private place so they wouldn’t be disturbed by the fans and Paul had agreed.  
Harry sighed lowly under his breath while they were heading to some random restaurant. Niall seemed excited and even though he thought Harry was angry at him, he wasn’t; he was just angry at the… world?  
When they got to the restaurant, they slowly got out of the car and walked to the entrance. Paul knew that if they had asked for this time it was because they wanted it alone, so he waited in the door while the five boys picked a table and settled in it.  
Harry observed carefully at each one of the boys present, except one.  
“So…” Niall said trying to break the silence. At least, Harry knew that he definitely was not willing to talk, so he just grinned at Niall and then went back to the menu, pretending to be concentrated on something else. As everyone stayed quiet, Niall did a disappointed face, but tried again. “How have y’all been, we haven’t had time to talk alone” He sighed.  
“It’s been good” Louis answered tiredly.  
“Well you don’t look good, Louis” Niall complained and all of them seemed surprised by his reply.  
“I’m just tired. I think we all are” He said defensively as he looked at Zayn, who nodded.  
“I know, last night I could barely sleep. I need some rest” Liam added and shook his head while taking a sip from his glass of water.  
A conversation flowed really easily between Niall, Liam and often Louis and Zayn. But Harry didn’t say a word; he wasn’t even paying attention to what they were saying. He was glad they were all having a nice time, though. He really missed hearing Zayn’s laugh and seeing Liam smile proudly because they were talking, not arguing or planning things, just talking and joking. And even though it was like if Harry wasn’t there, he felt happy at the thought of everything going back to normal, just not with him.  
Everything was going just fine, when Niall decided to add Harry to the conversation, which was exactly what Harry was hoping didn’t happen.  
“What about you, Harry?” He said still laughing from what Liam had said.  
“What about what?” He asked confused. When Niall and the rest of them made a disappointed face, he felt bad and forced a smile. “Sorry, I didn’t catch it”  
“We were talking about our experiences with fans. Like the funniest thing that has ever happened to you with a fan” He explained himself and Harry suddenly started feeling bad again. He started feeling the need that was constantly there, and that surprisingly had left for an hour or so. But he started feeling it again, and it didn’t feel good.  
“Oh. Um” He pretended to think about it, when he was really just praying for the feeling to leave. “I don’t remember…” That was all he could manage to say and all the smiles from the other boys’ faces faded.  
“Oh” Niall answered and looked away.  
“You know Harry, I’m getting really pissed with this shit” Liam snapped. Zayn and Louis looked at him wide eyed, and so did Harry.  
“What?”  
“You heard me. We’re all trying to go back to normal in here and your attitude isn’t helping at all”  
“He’s right, mate. This is getting really annoying” Zayn said calmly and Niall nodded.  
Harry felt like he had been stabbed in the chest three times. He felt a little dizzy and started hearing noises from everywhere.  
“I think it’s not the time for us to discuss this, is it?” Louis said defensively. Then he turned his face to Harry. “Are you okay?” He asked.  
Harry wanted to reply, but his throat was now burning and he knew that if he didn’t get to his hotel room quickly something really bad would happen. So instead of saying something, he just stood up slowly and when he was stable on his feet, he ran to the door of the restaurant and when he was out, he started running faster, thinking that Paul was chasing for him.  
He had no idea where to go. He knew that if he kept walking, he would be attacked by fans. So as soon as he saw a yellow car, he extended his arm and it stopped. He got in hesitatingly and looked at the driver.  
“Hey. C-can you take me to…” He couldn’t remember the name of the hotel they were staying in. “Um… I think it’s Fraser Suites?” He asked hoping that the driver would recognize the hotel he was talking about. The driver nodded and started the car.  
Without thinking about it, he turned his head and looked through the back window of the cab to see a confused looking Louis standing right in front of the restaurant, then some raindrops started falling through his hair and then all through his face and it looked like he was crying.  
He would have fallen asleep in the cab if it wasn’t because of the thunders and lightings. He was actually terrified, he had never liked the thunderstorms, and especially not when he was alone. 

“What the fuck was that?! Why would you say that to him?” Louis growled when he came back to the restaurant.  
“I just told him the truth” Liam was calm, and so were the other boys.  
“Guys, you know Harry is going through a hard time” He said trying not to tear up.  
“Stop, Louis. We all know you guys fought and that your relationship is not going good and that he’s upset about it, but that’s not a reason for him to act like a total jerk and stop talking to us. If he has a problem with you, then you two solve it but don’t get us into this” Liam said.  
Louis shook his head confused.  
“Liam” He said in disbelief. “Oh, how I wish that was the only problem Harry’s dealing with right now” He said and left the restaurant as quickly as he could.  
Yes, he knew that he had exaggerated everything, but they didn’t know a thing about Harry and him. They didn’t know what they’ve gone through. They just knew that their relationship was publicly banned. That’s the only thing they knew, and still they dared to judge them?  
Besides, Harry thought that Louis didn’t know what he did when he was alone, but oh, of course, he did. And that was a big deal, at least to him.  
Thank God, Louis had been in Glasgow like a million times, so he knew where his hotel was located. He took one of the cars that were following them to the restaurant and left.  
Louis didn’t know if he should tell Harry what had happened when he left, or if he shouldn’t. He didn’t know if he should tell him that he knew, or if he shouldn’t. He just knew that he needed to talk to him.  
When he got to the hotel, he walked into the lobby and looked for an elevator. When he found it he got in quickly and realized that he was shaking. He was so nervous; he had just left the restaurant to talk to the boy who probably hated him right now. He had no idea how Harry would react. Louis didn’t know if he was going to push him away, or just ignore him, or maybe, just maybe, open up to him; that’s all Louis was asking for.  
He walked slowly down the halls, wanting to get to his room, but at the same time wishing he could just run away. But he was definitely not going to do that.  
When he finally got to the room, he took a deep breath and thought “It’s just Harry, he won’t hurt you”, but deep inside, he knew Harry was the person that could hurt him the most. He ignored it and knocked.  
“Who is it?” He heard a hoarse voice through the other side of the door.  
“Um, it’s Louis” He said and before the younger boy had the opportunity to reply he added “Harry, I came here to talk to you, may I come in?” He said surprised by his own security. He heard a sigh.  
“Come in”  
Louis grabbed the knob hard and twisted it. He opened the door to find Harry sitting on the floor, next to his bead, with red and puffy eyes, obviously he had been crying. Louis felt the sudden urge to wrap his small arms around him and kiss him all over and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but he couldn’t do that. So he just walked hesitatingly and sat next to him. He didn’t know what to say, he started thinking desperately before Harry got mad at him or changed his mind, but he was surprised but Harry’s sudden question.  
“Why did you come?” He asked innocently.  
Louis didn’t need to think about this.  
“I thought it was the right thing to do. I know how you feel, because I’ve felt that too. I felt it when you left the restaurant; I felt it when Liam was talking to you, because I know that he was referring to me as well” Harry seemed to be taken aback by his answer. He finally, after at least two weeks looked at Louis in the eyes and smiled, and Louis smiled back.  
“Thank you” Harry said looking down again.  
“For what?” Louis asked.  
“For coming, I wasn’t expecting it” He sighed “I’m glad you did though”  
“So, are you okay?” Louis asked remembering the reason why he had come. Harry seemed to think about it, but he didn’t reply, and knowing him as well as Louis did, he knew he wasn’t okay at all. And then Harry did what Louis had never expected him to do, he broke down crying, putting his hands on his face and sobbing loudly. Louis felt a big, painful knot in his throat, but he ignored it and without thinking about it twice, he grabbed Harry’s bigger body softly and cuddled closer to him, he took his head in his hands and started stroking his hair slowly.  
“It’ll be okay” He whispered at least three times in Harry’s ear, and Harry did his best to believe it. He cried a little bit more hiding his face against Louis’ body.  
When he finally stopped crying, Louis lifted Harry’s head, and suddenly, Harry planted a wet kiss on his lips. Louis let him, but didn’t respond, he was too shocked remembering every kiss they had shared before. How good they felt… Then he really was shocked when he realized what he was doing. He had a girlfriend, for crying out loud. And even though, he didn’t show much interest on her, he did care about her and he was not cheating on her.  
Louis pushed Harry away, wiped his lips (even though he would have loved to keep that strawberry-like taste on them) and left the room like a bold. He didn’t bother to look back; he just ran, got to his room and shut the door.  
Now it was his turn to cry. He threw himself to the floor and rested his head on the corner of the bed. He didn’t have a shoulder to cry on, or an arm wrapped around him to make him know that he was not alone, because the truth was, that he was alone.  
This went on for at least thirty minutes, no one called him, no one knocked on his door, and no one gave a shit. Louis didn’t know exactly why he was crying. Maybe he was crying because he was so confused, or maybe because he felt so alone. Or maybe, just maybe, he was crying because he knew that he had the chance to love the boy he wanted to love again, but he couldn’t take it, there was no way.  
When tears finally stopped coming, Louis sat down straight and forced himself to stop thinking about Harry. He cleaned the mess of tissues he had made on the floor and went to sleep. He covered himself with all the blankets he had and took a sip of the already cold tea he had ordered earlier that day.  
Louis knew that he couldn’t blame Harry for what had happened earlier. It was his entire fault; he was the one who ran away. He could’ve stayed; he could’ve cleared everything with Harry, but instead, he was a coward and just ran away from trouble. The trouble that made him feel better than any safe thing he had ever done.  
Unfortunately, Louis knew Harry well enough to know that he was not going to come back easily. He had given up for a moment and had kissed him, but Louis had rejected him. And Harry was not going to let this go easily, he was going to stick to this for a long time, until something that really hurt him (more hurt than he was) made him need Louis as much as Louis needed him.  
Louis debated with himself about this being good or bad. He knew that if his plan was never to cheat on his girlfriend and to stay away from Harry, this was definitely good. But deep inside, he felt that this was bad, this was going to hurt more than he ever imagined. And it was not fair, not fair at all. They had been in this sort of fight for a long time now, and everything because they were two boys in love? Louis felt disgusted by this, but Harry couldn’t help but care about what people thought of him, and that was what hurt Louis the most.  
His mind stayed blank for a while and the only sound that filled his head was the hands of the clock moving. He opened his eyes, which he had just realized were closed, and let the cup of tea on the night stand, then he lay down on the bed and closed his eyes again, feeling all of his muscles slowly relax. It was then, when he realized he was more tired than he thought and he fell asleep right away.


	3. Chapter 3

It was just 5am when the familiar sound of his ringtone woke Louis up. He growled and groaned, then got up and answered.  
“Hello?” He said with a husky voice.   
“Louis, get down here right now” A soft but demanding voice said.  
“Uh, sure” He answered nervously and hung up.   
Without even bothering to put clothes on, he just shoved his small feet in his teddy-bear looking slippers and got out of the room wondering whether this was a bad decision or a good one. He knew that Paul and Amy and basically everyone had probably heard about the incident last night (No, not the kiss incident, but the restaurant incident) and he most certainly knew that they wouldn’t like it. They would definitely not like the fact that Harry had ran away from everyone in the middle of the night, and that Louis had ran away after him. He didn’t regret it though, he didn’t at all.   
Louis was kind of ashamed to admit that he was glad that last night happened. He wouldn’t even admit it to himself, but he knew it, and he couldn’t help but feeling the well-known butterflies in his stomach. But these butterflies didn’t feel like anyone would describe them, no, they felt like a million little monsters were biting and stabbing him all over, he still was glad he felt them, because they made him remember and know that Harry still felt something for him. It was surely not the most convenient thing for the situation right now, but it made Louis feel warm inside. 

“Good morning, Louis” Amy greeted him with a warm but still fake smile.   
“Good morning” He didn’t bother to change his bored and tired expression.   
“We want, no I mean, need to talk to you about last night” She was joined by Paul an another guy whose name was unknown to him.   
“Okay…” He said expectantly.   
“Come here, take a seat” Amy gestured him to sit on the dark green couch right next to them, so he did.   
“So, we all know you guys had dinner at a restaurant last night, and you very fairly asked us to leave you alone because you needed some time to talk” Louis nodded. “But we’re now pretty sure leaving you alone wasn’t a good idea at all” She finished. Louis just sighed remembering.   
“Louis, what exactly happened last night when you left the restaurant alone?” Paul asked.   
Louis chuckled sarcastically. “C’mon guys” He said with an annoyed smile on his face. “What is this? FBI?”  
“If that’s how you’d like to call it, then yes it is” The other guy answered. Louis frowned.   
“Who even are you?” He asked almost in disgust. The stranger just laughed and looked at Amy.   
“I’m Wesley” He offered his hand to Louis, but he ignored it.   
Louis was about to talk when Amy interrupted.   
“Anyways, I know this may be a little too much, but we need to know” She said with a pleading look.   
Louis thought about it. Should he say anything? Well, nothing really happened so why should he hide anything?   
“Fine” He sighed giving up. “Liam started talking bullshit to Harry so he got upset and left. I felt kind of sorry for Harry because I knew exactly the way he felt, so I tried to talk to him outside the restaurant, but he had already left so I followed him to the hotel. Then we talked a little bit in his room and I left to my room and fell asleep because I was unbelievably tired” Louis added some sarcasm and a slight lie to his story.   
The three of them nodded slowly.   
“Well, Louis” Amy started. “Fans found out about this inconvenient” She was looking at her phone, then she let Louis look.   
He noticed she was on twitter, and then he spotted what she was pointing at. There were four or five tweets.   
@1DailyUpdates: Apparently, Harry was spotted leaving the restaurant where the boys were having dinner and some minutes later, Louis left the restaurant right after Harry.   
@OneDupdated: Harry and Louis left the restaurant together and shared an unknown cab to their hotel <333   
Louis sighed and decided not to read more.   
“Well, they’re updating. It’s sort of their ‘job’” He expected Amy to laugh sarcastically but she didn’t, which made it more serious. Louis licked his bottom lip and bit his inside cheek.   
“Louis, they think you fucked last night” Amy snapped. Everyone was shocked by her reaction.   
“Woah, there” Paul calmed her down.  
Louis smiled. As much as he didn’t want to, his face forced him to.   
“I bet Louis made sweet, kind love to Harry last night omg” Amy said in a girly voice “What is this, huh?!” She yelled.   
“Not my fault” He said defensively.   
“I know, but I need you to fix it” She demanded calmly.   
“But…”   
“But nothing, it’s you who is involved in this problem, not us” She interrupted him.   
“Why is it always me who has to fix the problems?” He complained like a little child.   
“You know why, Louis” This answer made Louis smile at the thought of Harry’s innocent, non-able to lie mouth.   
“Fine” He sighed. “What do you want me to do?” He gave up, but he knew it was just because they hadn’t fucked last night (He hated the word fucked when referring to him and Harry), he wish they had, but they hadn’t and it was partly his fault because he knew the fans, he knew how they assumed every single thing.   
“You’re going to act like if you guys never went to had dinner yesterday. You hung out with a new friend, got it?” Amy said.   
“So what, I just make up an imaginary friend?” He asked sarcastically.   
“C’mon Louis! You’ve met a lot of people in this tour, just pick one of them and tweet about it!” She sounded annoyed, but mostly worried. Louis nodded.   
“Okay” He agreed and took his phone out of his pocket. He scrolled down his contacts looking for someone new. He finally spotted Mark Toner. He had met him in his second tour in America, he wasn’t that close for them to talk again, so he decided he was the perfect one.   
Louis opened his Twitter app, and started typing.   
@Louis_Tomlinson: Had fun last night @MarkToner86 . See you soon! :)   
He showed it to Amy and she nodded in approval, so he hit the button tweet and waited for his mentions to explode and his timeline to start asking about the rumors of the restaurant. And just a few seconds later, that exactly happened.   
“Are you happy now?” Louis asked Amy who was also on Twitter.   
“Good job, Lou” She answered pleased and left with Paul and the Wesley guy following her. He stood there feeling guilty once again for lying to his fans.  
Louis went back to his room feeling exhausted for some reason. He shut the door and threw himself on his not-so-warm and not-so-comfortable bed. Last night had been such a mess; never in his life would he have expected Harry to kiss him, not like that, not in that moment. He felt terrible for everything, but at the same time he didn’t regret anything. He started rubbing his head softly with his eyes closed as he was getting a headache. He just wanted to lay there forever without any concerns. Unfortunately, he and Eleanor had arranged to skype, and he wanted so badly that his computer stopped working, or that some sudden Meet and Greet popped out in their schedules, but that was most certainly not happening. So he sighed and hopped off the bed remembering that he hadn’t showered yet. 

After taking a long, hot shower, Louis checked his phone ignoring the millions of mentions on twitter. He did read some of them though; talking about him and Harry being such a cute couple and others just telling him how much they loved him. Those were basically the only mentions that made Louis smile. Not asking for a follow, or a reply, just making sure that he knew just how much they loved him. He knew some of them loved the image Modest had created of him, but others, not a lot but some of them did love him.   
He liked creeping on his timeline, just hoping that maybe someone had posted pictures of him and Harry (Those pictures that he no longer had saved on his phone, but they were always flying around on Twitter). He, of course, never “favorited” these pictures, but he did secretly enjoy them, even though sometimes it hurt. 

The morning light came right through the window waking slowly Harry up. He blinked several times getting used to the day, and was suddenly hit by the smell of alcohol and remaining weed left on his nightstand. For a second, just for one second, he felt the urge to get rid of this smell, but then his nose reminded him that this was his usual smell, this was his nature-self, so he ignored it and got out of bed scratching his head.   
Last night’s memories were still blurry, but what he knew was that he had kissed him and that the cold, familiar blade had touched his skin again, after all this time. He touched the place where the cut was and pressed it hard hoping that it’d hurt, but it didn’t. In disappointment, he grabbed the bottle of beer he had left on the shelf last night and finished it.   
He had a bad headache, and his eyes were burning, but what hurt the most were his ribs. Why? He had no idea. He didn’t remember. But it felt like someone was stabbing him constantly and it was really painful. He checked in his pocket to see if there some aspirins left, but the package was empty, so he went to the bathroom to take some more. He served himself a glass of water and drank three of them. For some reason, he remembered his doctor telling him that aspirins were not the solution for everything, and that they were not completely healthy, but he was not willing to put some cold or hot wet cloth on his ribs, so yeah, they were his only solution.   
His throat also ached, but not in a post-screaming way, but in a post-crying way. Wait. Had he cried last night?   
He checked his phone to find about ten messages from Amy asking him to come down because she needed to talk to him, but she had stopped sending, so he assumed that the problem was solved.   
Harry sat on the couch next to his bed and turned the TV on, choosing to ignore every single person asking him for help. He switched the channel to some kind of exorcism program, and he started “watching”, not really paying attention but observing carefully the corner of his bed, memories coming slowly to his head making his headache increase.   
He was suddenly interrupted by a knock on his door.  
“Come in” He said really soft while the door opened slowly revealing Liam’s body and then his face.   
“Hey” He greeted shyly.   
“Hey” Harry answered.   
He did remember everything about last night now, but somehow he wasn’t mad at Liam. After all, everything he’d said was right, he was acting like a complete jerk, but unfortunately his plans didn’t include stopping.   
“Can I talk to you for a second?” Liam asked.   
“Sure” Liam smiled slightly and sat next to Harry on the couch.   
“Dude, I’m really sorry about last night” He apologized looking at Harry directly in the eyes. As Harry didn’t answer, Liam went on. “I know I said things I shouldn’t have said. I completely understand the things you’re going through, but…”   
“No, you don’t” Harry interrupted him and ha may have sounded a little madder than he really was.   
“Well…” Liam started but didn’t end, because Harry was right, Liam had no idea.   
“It’s fine. You don’t have to understand what I’m going through to be sorry” Harry cleared himself. His intention wasn’t to scare Liam away, he just wanted to let Liam know that he didn’t know or understand what he was going through, but it was okay.   
Liam smiled in relief. Then he looked like he remembered something. “That was what Louis told me yesterday, I think I’m going to his room after this to apologize to him too” This made Harry confused.   
“You guys had a fight or something?” He asked.   
“No. He just defended you after you left and he said something similar to what you just said” He told Harry.   
“Oh” Harry grinned to himself, but the image of Louis pushing him away yesterday made his chest ache again, and his grin faded away. Liam seemed to notice, but he ignored it.   
“Well, I guess I’m going to apologize to him now. Everything good?” Liam asked offering Harry his hand. Harry took it and shook it.   
“Yeah, I’m fine” He answered and Liam left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, this chapter was really short. But thanks for reading!


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